#3//ALL ABOUT THE RESIDENT.
Who: The Resident. We were supposed to meet on a Thursday night last fall but I canceled because I had just gotten back from traveling to NYC for the weekend, and I realized that I was tired. From everything. From moving to Japan. From working in Japan. From taking 40 hours to fly home, then seeing my family, and then going back to work. I was exhausted and in no way, shape or form, ready for dating, But he wrote back asking if we wanted to reschedule, and also mentioned that he was studying French. How bad can a doctor be who also takes French lessons? I rescheduled.
When: Ages ago. September???
Where: Sweetwaters, which initially I was thinking, ‘Ughhhh, that chain restaurant downtown?’ But I got there first on a warm Thursday night and scored an outdoor table with OUTSTANDING people watching. Twas fun.
Drinks: First round, both of us got a Fiddlehead. Second round, both of us got Allagash White. We were total beer matches, and he paid for my drinks, which I appreciated.
First Impressions: Tall, slender, well groomed. Short hair and glasses and plaid. Slightly nerdy and scientisty, but very, very, very nice.
Beginning: I wasn’t nervous. I got there a bit earlier. Got a table. Got a beer. Texted him that I was there. (Kittens – I was getting the dating thing down.)
Conversation: Very chill. It had a relaxed vibe. We sat outside and chatted for a couple of hours over a couple of beers. Highlights: I learned a lot about medical school and residency. I learned that the Japanese work ethic is similar to surgery residency. In other words, BRUTAL. He grew up outside of New York City, went to school in the city (electrical engineering major), went to medical school in Buffalo, then moved up to UVM for residency. He likes South Park and running and hiking. He wants a work/life balance, but he’ll probably have to move again in a year for work. He’s left-handed (I told him that he had a hidden artsy side buried deep in there), and his favorite non-science class was a children’s literature class that he had to take in undergrad. He’s not much of a reader outside medical textbooks, so I gave him a list of some fun children’s books to read: Ender’s Game, The Fault In Our Stars, Hunger Games, etc.
Ending: We hugged and said thanks. That was that.
Post-Date: He followed up the next day with a text, and I messaged him back, but my phone was on the fritz and he never got them until days later. We were going to meet up for a second date, but I ended up going to a hockey game with friends and canceled. He texted me again, and then I didn’t text back.
Thoughts: I wish I liked nice guys. And maybe I will someday. I also need to be better at following up with people, but at times online dating can be overwhelming. I still feel guilty that I never got back in touch with him because he was a nice guy and it was a good date. I just wasn’t “WOWED.” I think part of it was that he was probably moving again next year. Overall though, I was left wondering if the Resident ever said, ‘F-ck it, I’m moving abroad for a year!’ Or has he had a year spent at a shitty, meaningless job wondering, ‘What am I doing with my life?’ I’m doubting it, and there’s something appealing to me in someone who’s had to search and wander for something unknown.
Last week, my coworkers asked what I was looking for in a person. I told them that I want someone who can chop wood, fix a car, create the perfect playlist, and take me to Paris.
I’m still looking.
Right Now: I’m realizing that no one asks me out in real life, so I’m going to continue to date myself.
I’m back from brunch and a yoga workshop and feeling totally relaxed. Also, thanks to Rachel, I am painting the nails yellow and indulging in GIRLS (season 3, episode 1) via YouTube for us non-HBO folks – before I go out for some Vermont pizza with friends.